You don't know me, and I don't know you either. But we are connected to each other by someone we care about a lot, although in totally different ways. And, based on all that's happened, you might think that I'm the villain in your tale. The truth is, I was rooting for you guys to work things out. I bet that comes as a surprise to you, but guess what: there are a lot of things you don't know.
This all started with my mistake, and it's a mistake I do quite often: I hit on your partner, without asking him if he was available. This is in no way an excuse, but I live in a world where everyone has open relationships and people flirt with each other all the time. A world where a naked picture is no different than the word "hello". I should have known that not everyone is like that, and I promise that I'm trying to be more mindful about it.
This continued until the day I asked him if he was single/available/allowed to have this kind of chat. When he said he was not, I offered to stop. Granted, stopping is not as easy as I thought it would be but I offered to nonetheless. I apologised for everything I had done so far and offered to stop. He said it was ok to go on. And I went on.
You might see this as a homewracking move form my part, but we are all adults here. If he said it was ok, I was not the one to judge, be moralist and say that he should think about you. After all, you were HIS boyfriend, not mine. The way other people deal with their relationship is none of my business.
As me and him started to become good friends, I told him that he shouldn't hide me from you. I told him that honesty is always the best way to go, and that lies and deceiving always end up coming back to slap one in one's face. Even after the breakup I told him that he should be clear about me and my intentions. I did tell him multiple times to try to put himself in your shoes. I told him to imagine how it would look like if you'd find our chats, discussing the possibility of you two breaking up among naked pictures and videos. That if he would explain you what was actually happen, it could go badly, but never as bad as you finding out and filling the gaps by yourself. But he decided not to, and we all know how that story played. And once again, I won't judge his decisions.
He has his reasons, and even though you or me or someone else might think those reasons are not strong enough, they were strong enough for him to act that way.
Another thing I told him multiple times is that I was also interested in you, both as a friend and sexually. One thing about me that you don't know is that I don't like to divide or subtract, instead my thing is to add and multiply. Countless times I brought up the possibility of the four of us - me, him, you and my husband - having sex together. Because, besides the fact that I am happily married to the love of my life and I am not looking for another partner, my husband is a whore like me and for us, the more does mean the merrier. I was clear that, should you two reamin together and decide to open your relationship, me and my husband would be on the front of the queue to play with you two.
But probably one of the biggest things that you don't know about me is that I rooted for you guys to work things out. When he told me about how affectionate you were after you had the pre-breakup chat, I asked him if he was sure about it, I told him how I felt for you, how I have "love goggles" and how I want everyone to work their issues out and be happy. That's just one example where I asked him to think really hard about this decision before making it. But most important, I want HIM to be happy, and as I told him recently, I haven't felt that he is happy with you from all that he tells me, so I understand why he decided to break things up. And sometimes, no matter how much we want to save something, it cannot be saved. We have to accept it, cause that is how life works. It sucks sometimes, but it is what it is.
I just wanted you to know that I never had anything against you, I am not rooting against you or your relationship and I certainly never wanted to steal him from you.
If you remain in his life, I would be opened to getting to know you better, making a connection with you, introducing you to my husband... Add and multiply. I am sure there's enough space for both you and me in his life, and we would occupy entirely different places in his heart. I am willing to make this work, in fact I never was not willing to. It is, as it always was, entirely up to you. I'm am a good guy, and if you give me a chance, I am happy to show you this.
I wish you could see that I'm telling the truth, but if you don't, there's nothing else I can do either, I just have to accept it, cause I know how I feel and he knows how I feel, and that's enough for me. Like I said, that's how life is. You are not the first and won't be the last person who dislikes me.
And maybe it is easier for you to blame someone else for everything, but keep in mind that I've only been around for 3 or 4 months, and your issues has been happening for more than a year now. Maybe right now none of this will make any sense to you, maybe in this moment you need someone to blame, something to ease the pain, and you are free to choose whatever you want for that, including making me the bad guy.
But I hope that one day you understand that everyone makes mistakes, it's probably the most human thing out there, but the mistakes are only worth it when you can learn from them. I hope you can learn from your mistakes, be it to make things between you two work in the future as boyfriends, just friends, or any new relationship you might be in. You deserve to be happy, everyone does. I don't know you, but I truly hope you can find happiness. For real.
I just hope it's not too late for us when you finally understand that.
